I can’t stop listening to Billie Eilish, please help

Billie Eilish is an enigma. Is she American? British? Chinese? A creature from a far away planet who managed to make her way through the galaxy with nothing but a ukulele and a tube of blue hair dye? The world may never know. It’s like Troye Sivan had a love child with Lil Xan.

I’ll (reluctantly) admit I find her endearing for some unexplained reason. It’s like the quiet girl from third period art robbed a homeless man’s wardrobe and developed a penchant for LSD. After her first trip, your friendship was never the same.

Billie being uNiQuE
Source: Instagram

To me, Billie comes off as another starry ocean eyed Disney reject that got lucky and cracked the image jackpot that set her apart from the rest of the X Factor preliminary round. You gotta hand it to her, no one else in the industry has her vibe. The peculiar combination of Louis Vuitton print and anime print hoodies both captivates and baffles the eye. Combine that with a simply more than precious empty gaze and a mumble rap esque style of singing and you have the perfect recipe for the teen idol of the month.

Maybe I’m being unfair. But whatever reason, Billie just gets on my nerves. Maybe I don’t consider “my boy loves his friends like I love my split ends” the peak of artistic writing ability. Maybe she just has the most punchable face on earth behind James Charles and 55th Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie (I’m sorry have you seen that man??).

And that’s why I’m having an existential crisis. Because despite all this, I CANNOT resist turning up “Bury a Friend” when it comes on my Spotify shuffle.

And that’s why I’m having an existential crisis. Because despite all this, I CANNOT resist turning up “Bury a Friend” when it comes on my Spotify shuffle.

“Lovely” is on the radio nonstop. And no matter how many times I try to avoid it, I can’t stop the three minutes and twenty seconds of mushy overplayed breathing into a microphone invading my eardrums. I can’t get enough. It gives me goosebumps every time.

A still from a promotional video for ‘Bury a Friend’
Source: Instagram

“Bad Guy” is another factory made, generic, pop- hit that was destined for topping the charts the second Billie took out her Invisalign to record it. And it slaps. “All the good girls go to hell” is another I’m addicted too. This annoying child I’m barely older than invades my playlists and recommended music all the time, yet somehow I don’t mind?

It was physically painful to admit that.

Billie has rocketed from an obscure sound cloud singer to headlining Coachella in less than a couple years. Unheard of right? This can’t be natural. Maybe she’s on to something though. Somehow people everywhere, are being drawn like moths to this technicolour, greatly in need of a shower, flame. I think Billie Eilish is one of the most talented young artists working today. Someone please call 911.

Author: Christina McDougall

SAS senior Christina McDougall, aspiring to be the next Amy Poehler, spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "you're" vs "your" on social media, she also likes chicken nuggets, being half Australian, and getting into fights with 12 year olds on Twitter. She can be contacted at mcdougall44636@sas.edu.sg.

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