For those of you who don’t know, GBF stands for Gay Best Friend. There are plenty of movies, television shows, and even books that portray the gay best friend as someone who is overly charismatic with a great sense of fashion and tips to pick up guys. What these various media outlets fail to tell their audiences is that the gay best friend does not have a life consisting solely of happiness and rainbows (no pun intended).
I am not gay, so my understanding of what it’s like to be gay is only secondhand. However, I myself have a best friend who is gay, who knows of the harsh life he is forced to live due to his sexuality. My best friend never fully came out to me because he assumed I had already known. Word of my best friend’s open sexuality had reached a group of boys at school with closed minds, leaving them to slander him in the harshest of ways.
Despite the setbacks, they are still some of the strongest people you will ever meet.
They spread rumors about him, treated his other friends poorly, and called him “queer” and “faggot” to his face, as if they were welcome greetings. Where was the protection he deserved, and where was the superhero that the movies had promised?
Despite the setbacks, they are still some of the strongest people you will ever meet. This is why my dear gay best friend changed my life for the better:
1. They Always Support You
My gay best friend wants me to be the very best that I can be. He isn’t afraid to push me, to challenge me, and to make me fight for my goals. He’s been the greatest safety net when I’ve felt most afraid and my shoulder to cry on when I’ve felt most vulnerable.
Gay men aren’t afraid to show their emotions; that’s what makes them a lot like your girlfriends. There’s no hard exterior or “Mr. Cool Guy” act going on; they just genuinely want to be there to support you unconditionally.
2. They Want to Chatter About Boys, etc.
I love that I can talk to my best friend for hours on end about boys and about my relationships. Likewise, he wants to talk to me about his relationships. I never have to worry about being tuned out, judged, or embarrassed about anything I divulge.
Your gay best friend is the easiest person to talk to because he doesn’t care that you’ve made mistakes. He’s as sympathetic towards the situation as it will get. This is a time when having a gay best friend is like having a best girlfriend; he’s up for anything and is always by your side.
3. They Are (Relatively) Drama Free
I tread lightly when I say this, but gay men just have less drama than women (generally). They are no-nonsense, get-to-the-point kind of people.
I love this about my gay best friend. If I do something to set him off, he tells me how it is. He’s not into sitting around, being passive aggressive, and talking a bunch of smack behind my back. He just tells me what’s going on, how he’s feeling, and we mutually find a way to remedy the situation, so we can continue doing whatever it is we were doing.
4. They Tell It Like How It Is
If I look like a beached whale in my horizontally striped, mid-length, body-hugging dress (yeah, not my best fashion choice), my gay best friend is going to tell me straight up that I look like Shamu.
I love that he doesn’t lie to me because what service does it do me to spend an entire Friday evening out on the town looking like Rosie O’Donnell? I appreciate the honesty I can always count on, even if it does sting a little.
5. They’re Clean
Hygiene in the gay community is non-negotiable. My gay best friend is borderline a hygiene freak. It can be a little annoying since I tend to be a bit of a slob. Nonetheless, I appreciate that he wants my bedroom to look impeccable every time he comes over and urges me to clean and organize my closet after I’ve rummaged through it millions of times.
6. You Always Have A Shopping Partner
Okay, not true of every gay guy, I know. They don’t all love shopping, but my gay best friend LOVES shopping. It’s so nice to be able to spend a carefree day with a male who I know is going to love hitting up H&M and won’t mind holding on to my purse while I’m trying things on.
He also won’t hesitate to tell me I look fat in those jeans.
7. You Always Have a Handsome +1