Man Crush Monday: Chris Fangirl Hemsworthy

So the other day I was at Starbucks enjoying my pumpkin spice latte. Then I overheard the table to my right talking about this super hot guy and I think his name was Chris Hemsworth or something. So out of curiosity, I searched up who this guy was and if what they said was really true. And it turned out Brenda and Emily weren’t lying. But then I wondered why I found this guy so attractive, and out of curiosity again I decided to go deep into the scientific reasoning to why Chris Hemsworth from Thor was, in fact, so hot.

So, for the purposes of this scientific evaluation (and your reading entertainment), I will be breaking down just what it is that makes this 6’2 Aussie so fangirl(or fanboy)-worthy.  I will present my argument in 5 points:

  • Facial features
  • Physical features
  • Masculinity
  • General attractiveness
  • Attractiveness poll
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Chris Hemsworth, the new face of Hugo Boss fragrances

Facial features

If you’re wondering if Chris Hemsworth is, in fact, attractive to the wide majority, we should note that he was crowned the “Sexiest Man Alive” by People’s magazine 2014. To accompany his chiseled jaw and broad chin, Chris Hemsworth has the most powerful weapon known to womankind; the famous blue eyes. According to the internet and the vast majority of females I talk to (I know, right), blue eyes are found very attractive because they’re unique and — let’s admit it — amazingly beautiful. Approximately 8% of the world’s population are “blue-eyed devils”. Chris’ facial structures include an ideal masculine jawline, blonde/ brown hair, and beautiful blue eyes. So in summary, Chris Hemsworth is very beautiful.  I give him an easy 4/5.

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Chris’ individual muscles even have their own muscles

Physical features

Going over Chris’ physical features, he has muscles no one has ever seen before on a human. His shoulders are the size of bowling balls and his biceps are the size of boulders. In a study made by me from various Q&A websites, wide shoulders are perceived as masculine and attractive because broad shoulders signal masculinity and power. This is because people with wide shoulders take up more space than those without, and psychologically it shows that not only is he superior to other man-choices but also that he can take care of himself. Going alongside his strong physique, Chris Hemsworth is also 1.9 meters tall or 6’2. For a woman, this height is very ideal because they generally prefer men who are taller than themselves and, well,  I still honestly don’t understand why.  5/5

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Hot

 

Masculinity

Chris’ masculinity is unquestionable, he has it in his superior genetics. From his, before mentioned chiseled jawline to his perfect body proportions, you can’t get more manly than that. Traits that woman found masculine are his visible strength, sharp jawlines, angular cheek structure, height, and, of course, the ability to grow a full beard. Now not only does Chris Hemsworth possess all of those traits, he can also pull off a suit and his new haircut is off the scale for us male mortals.  Thus, he too is off the charts:  5.5/5

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General attractiveness

Looking at Chris’ overall package, I’d say we’ve got a near perfect man. With his height and masculine features, it’s hard to deny that Chris Hemsworth is an ideal fangirl crush. Chris is also a very kind person and combined with his accent, I’d like him to send me a recording of him saying every single word in the dictionary. 4.5/5

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Final Rating

But who am I to judge?  To provide necessary research and depth for my investigation, I have surveyed a couple of females to determine whether Chris Hemsworth is really fangirl crush-worthy to actual women.  Stangely, I may have held him in too high esteem.  Somewhat more critical peers stated: “Chris Hemsworth is actually pretty hot, but he looks a bit too aggressive” or, “He’s good looking but nothing extreme”.

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Look at dem pearly white teeth

So overall Chris Hemsworth gets a 4.5 star out of 5.  Perhaps it is more palpable to admit that, although Chris gets high marks on paper, to high school girls he’s not the best looking man in the world.  So I will adjust my critique only somewhat:  While Chris may be too old to be the pinnacle of fangirl worthiness, he is most definitely suitable hubby material.  And I said it first.

Author: Peerawit Thaipat

Peerawit Thaipat is a first-year sophomore reporter at The Eye. He has been in Singapore for eight years and this is his third year at Singapore American School. In his free time, Peerawit enjoys binge-watching Netflix with potato chips, hanging out with acquaintances, collecting hair products and picking up heavy iron objects in a room for a number of times. No, he does not do his eyebrows, no he does not use eyeliner and no he does not do his eyelashes. However, he spends about thirty minutes on his hair in the morning. You can contact him at thaipat41478@sas.edu.sg

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