Top 5 SAS bathrooms (girls and boys)

Top 5 Girls’ Bathrooms 

#1: 3rd floor near the counseling office

Pros: Overall cleanliness, stocked toilet paper, great flush power, spacious

Cons: Could be cleaner, one of the faucets not working

Remarks: “The best place to go if we run out of toilet paper”

#2: 4th floor near the English and Language department

Pros: Mostly clean, trash cans in some of the stalls, lots of space

Cons: Flush power is so-so, some trash lying around here and there

Remarks: “Great place to write poetry.”

#3: 4th floor near the staircase

Pros: Clean, stocked toilet paper, lots of space

Cons: Stalls are a bit dirty and there are no trash cans in the stalls

Remarks: “Echo… Echo… echo…

#4: 2nd floor near the library

Pros: Quite clean, stocked toilet paper

Cons: Flush power is so-so, very little space and too cramped

Remarks: “I… can’t… move…”

#5: 2nd floor near the cafeteria

Pros: Mostly clean, great flush power, lots of space

Cons: A bit dirty and some faucets aren’t working

Remarks: “Chicago”

Top 5 Guys’ Bathrooms

#1: Bathroom by the gyms

Pros: Luxurious, has a fan and nature scene, stone walls and comfortable atmosphere

Cons: Sometimes too beautiful

Remarks: “But the promised land is so far away…”

#2: 2nd floor near the library

Pros: All stall handles work

Cons: Very small and horrifying for the claustrophobic

Remarks: “The walls are closing in!”

#3: 1st floor by the art room

Pros: Great for when you just get off the bus and need to start your day

Cons: Gets crowded and occasional parties bust out

Remarks: “Bro, your beats are jammin’ my toilet”

#4: 2nd floor near the cafeteria

Pros: A reasonable stop on your way to the cafeteria

Cons: Two stall handles don’t work and is sometimes strewn with paper towels

Remarks: “I’m in here! Don’t open the stall!”

#5: 1st floor by Ms. Silverman’s room

Pros: Perfect for the average mole

Cons: You can’t see anything- might be a spooky monster’s lair

Remarks: “Did something just move?”


Author: klauer46100

Matt Klauer is a sophomore Global Section editor for The Eye. He’s originally from Jacksonville, Florida, and is an out-of-the-box thinker, an enjoyer of precious sleep, and wants to colonize Mars sometime in his life. He can be contacted at

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