Top 5 Girls’ Bathrooms
#1: 3rd floor near the counseling office
Pros: Overall cleanliness, stocked toilet paper, great flush power, spacious
Cons: Could be cleaner, one of the faucets not working
Remarks: “The best place to go if we run out of toilet paper”
#2: 4th floor near the English and Language department
Pros: Mostly clean, trash cans in some of the stalls, lots of space
Cons: Flush power is so-so, some trash lying around here and there
Remarks: “Great place to write poetry.”
#3: 4th floor near the staircase
Pros: Clean, stocked toilet paper, lots of space
Cons: Stalls are a bit dirty and there are no trash cans in the stalls
Remarks: “Echo… Echo… echo…”
#4: 2nd floor near the library
Pros: Quite clean, stocked toilet paper
Cons: Flush power is so-so, very little space and too cramped
Remarks: “I… can’t… move…”
#5: 2nd floor near the cafeteria
Pros: Mostly clean, great flush power, lots of space
Cons: A bit dirty and some faucets aren’t working
Remarks: “Chicago”
Top 5 Guys’ Bathrooms
#1: Bathroom by the gyms
Pros: Luxurious, has a fan and nature scene, stone walls and comfortable atmosphere
Cons: Sometimes too beautiful
Remarks: “But the promised land is so far away…”
#2: 2nd floor near the library
Pros: All stall handles work
Cons: Very small and horrifying for the claustrophobic
Remarks: “The walls are closing in!”
#3: 1st floor by the art room
Pros: Great for when you just get off the bus and need to start your day
Cons: Gets crowded and occasional parties bust out
Remarks: “Bro, your beats are jammin’ my toilet”
#4: 2nd floor near the cafeteria
Pros: A reasonable stop on your way to the cafeteria
Cons: Two stall handles don’t work and is sometimes strewn with paper towels
Remarks: “I’m in here! Don’t open the stall!”
#5: 1st floor by Ms. Silverman’s room
Pros: Perfect for the average mole
Cons: You can’t see anything- might be a spooky monster’s lair
Remarks: “Did something just move?”
THE EYE 